English translation down below this page.
I had missed from a too brief career my life of an artist that had been sublimated into an unknown international star who had been financed by her rich and countless passer-by lovers.
''I could not believe what my eyes were reading as I read my father's electronic mails to whom I had asked money in order to avoid jail and who was without any shame, asking me to ask my friends for that help. My mother, far from being self-confident and like him without any scope, always had listened to him and followed his whims. It just came like a shock, flat on my face I was whipped twenty times and knocked down laying for hours on my bed I still owned not saying a word. I could not get up from such low silliness. I had escaped from their idiocy as I turned twenty and I had most of the time through my forty blazing years, since way back forgotten it. But now being sixty, isolated and broke away from the Court of my fancies without any possible return, I felt their mediocre truth getting into a deep contempt, one voluntary purgatory, one poor jealousy. Both had never believed in my glory on big screens projected in Panavison, and both for total opposite reasons that parted Catholicism from Judaism, did not live well, one for what it meant, the other for what it raised of envy, my new nationality.''
Quelques Extraits...
''Je ne vivais que de moments présents desquels ils ignoraient tout de leur intensité et de leur naturelle disposition à être vécus en une philosophie depuis pensée et voulue, et dans un moment de joie ou de peine toujours extrême ne pouvant les respirer autrement, ils ne savaient soupçonner le vide d'une existence qu'ils avaient eux, planifiée d'appartements à acheter et autres appareils ménagers.Seul et incompris, je l'avais toujours été, mais je ne trouvais plus le fil sensible à leur communiquer quoi que ce soit de pensées qu'ils n'avaient de toute façon de leurs autocratiques doctrines prolétaires jamais acceptées, ni tolérées, jamais comprises. Ils s'en foutaient de ma misère et de ma pauvreté. Ils voulaient me mettre au pied, et ils m'y mettaient, tracassé, miné, épouvanté. Ils gardaient leurs millions et moi de l'indigence, seulement ma désolation.''
I had missed from a too brief career my life of an artist that had been sublimated into an unknown international star who had been financed by her rich and countless passer-by lovers.
''I could not believe what my eyes were reading as I read my father's electronic mails to whom I had asked money in order to avoid jail and who was without any shame, asking me to ask my friends for that help. My mother, far from being self-confident and like him without any scope, always had listened to him and followed his whims. It just came like a shock, flat on my face I was whipped twenty times and knocked down laying for hours on my bed I still owned not saying a word. I could not get up from such low silliness. I had escaped from their idiocy as I turned twenty and I had most of the time through my forty blazing years, since way back forgotten it. But now being sixty, isolated and broke away from the Court of my fancies without any possible return, I felt their mediocre truth getting into a deep contempt, one voluntary purgatory, one poor jealousy. Both had never believed in my glory on big screens projected in Panavison, and both for total opposite reasons that parted Catholicism from Judaism, did not live well, one for what it meant, the other for what it raised of envy, my new nationality.''
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